Six Months Ago This Evening...

Had I not turned to my friend Nick at a party and said, "Excuse me, I'm going to go talk to this girl while I still have the balls,"...my life would be a whole lot different.

 

Actually, there are an infinite amount of other choices that led me to that moment, but allow me to go back a little further.

 

A little over six months ago, I was still working at the hellhole that is Starbucks on South Street. One of the only things me and the other guys behind the counter (there was mostly men working this store) could do to keep ourselves slightly happy was ogle the attractive female customers and dream of being with them since...let's face it...the green apron and the stupid hat isn't exactly the best attire to be picking up women.

 

"Hey! I make $7.75/hr! Date me!"

 

No. The best we could do was give them free drinks and hope for the best. Which I did.

 

There were two girls in particular that were regulars...one came in on a constant basis and the other came in on a more sporadic schedule. The first girl was Lauryn, a short, blonde, dreadlocked chica who seemed just as miserable with her job as we were with ours that she would have lengthy conversations with us. She worked at a jeans store across the street, and I always enjoyed my encounters with her, usually hooking her up with her drinks.

 

Then there was the other one...the sporadic one...I never knew when she'd be coming in, but I always waited for it. She was tall, 5'10, gorgeous, and had this epic, artsy tattoo over her right shoulder. She was the one I had the crush on...and the one I knew I had no shot with. Even my manager wanted a piece of this girl.

 

One day she came in while I was working the register, and I took a deep breath and decided to muster up my confidence. As she handed me her credit card I said, with as little anxiety as I could, "Don't worry about it."

 

She literally took a step back.

 

Now, this is the split second moment where I'm waiting to see if the girl reacts with:

• "Uh...thanks." and rolls her eyes, walking off all awkward. Or...
• Smiles and accepts the small gift.

Much to my surprise, I got that smile. "Really?" She asks me. I nod happily. She takes that step forward again and puts out her hand. "Wow. Thank you. Emily."

 

I shake her hand. "(For the sake of anonymity) K. Nice to meet you."

 

As she walks away toward where she's going to receive her drink, she keeps looking back at me, smiling as if I just did the most unbelievably nice thing for her. I felt fantastic.

 

A week or so later, things got interesting. Lauryn and Emily came in to the store...together. Turns out they not only work at the same place, but they live together. I'm working the register again, and Lauryn asks me, "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

 

"It's my mom's surprise 60th birthday party." I answered, and I don't think I could have had a lamer answer. The other two guys I'm working with are staring at me like I'm retarded.

 

"Is that going to go until midnight?" Lauryn continues.

 

I think about that for a moment. "Well, um, most of my parents friends are in their sixties, so I'm going to guess not."

 

"Good, because our housewarming party starts at 12. Be there."

 

Lauryn gave me her address and her phone number, and I was shocked. The guys I was working with couldn't really believe that just happened, and all I could think was "I guess I'm going to a housewarming party!"

 

Now, I don't know these girls. At all, aside from their names and place of employment. Actually, I knew that Lauryn was 18, which was really pushing it for me, so I assumed that Emily as about 18 as well. They also lived in a ghetto, ghetto, part of South Philly, one I'd be venturing into by myself. I wasn't going to let that happens, so I dragged my friend Dan with me.

 

We took a cab, and we literally told him to stay there while we checked out the party in case it was non-existent, because we had been calling Lauryn and she wasn't answering. When we arrived, the party was indeed on, and we let the cabbie go. Walking in, we immediately realized we were out of place.

 

There were about seventy-five people in the house, all dressed in leather, chains, piercings and tattoos galore...Dan and I are dressed in clothes from Target. A good portion of the party was already drugged up and passed out on the various couches, and we were definitely older than most.

 

Since I was the only one who knew anyone, and I didn't really know them to begin with, Dan was like "Lead the way." So I did.

 

It was dark. It was crowded. I was on the lookout for Emily, and I thought I spotted her amongst the crowd. I tapped on her shoulder, "Emily?"

 

She spun around. "No, Ali. I'm Emily's sister." She said with a smile so gorgeous that I almost fell over. They looked so much alike yet, Ali was dressed a lot more like...well me. She seemed just as out of place as I did.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm K. A friend of Emily's." I said to her.

"I think she's out back." Ali said.

 

And that was it. For now.

 

Dan and I found Emily and Lauryn, and after hanging out with them for a little while, they didn't turn out to be what I had hoped. Emily was a smoker, a drug user, and had guys all over her. She seemed to care very little that I was even there. However, I found my thoughts drifting toward Ali. Ali looked even younger than Emily did, so if I was right to assume that Emily was 18, then I'm thinking that Ali's gotta be 16. But what the fuck do I know.

 

My friend Nick arrived, so I went downstairs to meet him. We sat down near the door and looked out over the party. It was a wreck. A bunch of people passed out, really not our scene. Yet there was one empty couch, the back of which was adjacent to the back of another couch...where Ali was sitting talking to another girl. She was part of a small group of people that was her own, none like anyone else there.

 

That's when I turned to Nick and told him I needed to talk to this girl while I still had the balls.

 

And to this day, I can't believe I actually had the balls.

 

I sat down on that couch behind Ali and said, "Hey, sorry, I don't really know anyone here, and you seemed really nice when you introduced yourself to me, so I thought I'd come over and say hello again."

 

Solid line? I thought so. So did she.

 

"I don't really know anyone here either." She responded.

 

And we started talking. A lot longer than I expected the conversation to go. And it turned out she wasn't 16. She was 24. Like me. She graduated from an art school. Like me. She didn't smoke, she didn't do any drugs...and halfway through the conversation, since we were leaning over different couches and it was awkward, she invited me to sit down next to her on her couch. And do I did.

 

The conversation was going so well, and this girl was so beautiful, that I just couldn't fathom this was actually happening. I went for the home run and I said, "Listen...my birthday party is next weekend. You should come."

 

"Yeah. I'll come. Let me get your number."

 

The coveted number exchange. This could mean everything or nothing. Since she wanted my number, it meant the ball was in her court. She could use it at her discretion and never contact me. But I was willing to take that chance. I gave her my number, and then much to my surprise, she says "Okay, I'm calling you to make sure you didn't give me a fake one."

 

What?! Why the hell would I give her a fake number? Who the hell would ever give her a fake number?

 

My phone buzzed with her number, and that's when I realized she actually liked me and didn't want me disappearing somewhere. I believed her when she said she'd be at my birthday. After that, she and her friends left, and Dan gave me a high five on a flawless victory.

 

A victory so flawless, that I'd have her in my bed the night of my birthday party, in heaven, the both of us unable to stop smiling.

 

A victory so flawless...that it was all downhill from there. As she just wanted to be friends.

 

Ali...my friends...is OAOA. And that was how I met her. Six months ago this evening.

 

-Spontaneous K