My Semi-Forbidden Fruit

Today was the first time I've had quite a few topics I wanted to broach and had difficulty choosing which one to go with. I went with the one that's been stewing around in the back of my brain for several days now. I've mentioned it briefly in previous posts, but hadn't gone into real detail. As the days continued, it has intruded my thoughts more and more, so I guess that means the egg for this post is ready to hatch.

I've got a roommate. She's female. She's hot. She's intelligent. She's fun. She's ambitious. She's single.

I have another female roommate too, who is all of those things, slightly less ambitious from what I can tell, but much more NOT single.

These are the kind of relationships that entice me, the stuff fantasies are made out of. Y'know, girls like the most popular in school, your doctor, your therapist, your best friend's sister/cousin, your teacher, your boss. The ones your not allowed to have. I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. We like the ideas of these relationships because they're forbidden, they're wrong. We're not supposed to have them.

While roommates aren't completely off limits, fraternizing with them is along the same lines as fraternizing with a co-worker. It's generally looked upon as bad news. HOWEVER. I'm only living in this apartment until May 31st, and she's out of there halfway through May before traveling to Vietnam and then moving to New York to start her new job and new life (she's graduating from college).

So...is there really any harm that can be done? 

I've only been living there for a week, but we've been spending a lot of time together. And we've been talking about everything. We can talk for hours. We have a lot to talk about because she's ambitious, I'm ambitious, and I've been out in the "real world" for three years now, so she loves hearing about my adventures and my endeavors. At least that's the impression that I get. And what's most apparent is the two of us continue to talk about how right now we want to enjoy being single and just have fun with people. No strings attached, no pressure, just good old fashioned fun.

I just can't tell if we mean with each other.

We went out to dinner together earlier in the week. I made her dinner the other night. She smiles at me a lot. She says "Morning sunshine" to me. And what's been so great about it is how casual it is. It doesn't feel like there's anything going on, and I guess that's how we're supposed to feel, because we're roommates.

But I'm finding myself thinking about her more and being excited to come home and see her. What does that mean?

I also don't find myself jealous when she talks about other guys...or the fact that Stewart Bradley from the Philadelphia Eagles is currently trying to get her to go out with him. I even give her advice on what to say to him. And somehow, I think she finds the fact that I'm not jealous that a Sports Star is asking her out quite attractive. I think.

Am I really becoming the laid back, confident, secure man that I want to be? And will this allow me to just have fun with a great girl for a little while?

I can't wait to find out. :)

-Spontaneous K