Somewhere Between On Again and Off Again

This is going to be an interesting summer, to say the least.

 

The girl I’ve been seeing for the past month or so, Teri, and I have decided to just be friends. Ultimately it was bound to happen, since she’s moving to Seattle at the end of August. Both of us felt, however, that it would be best to end it sooner, as the two of us know that attachment when someone is definitely leaving is a recipe for disaster.

 

Tomorrow, I have a first date with someone new. Rebecca. A 25-year old Social Worker, and another OkCupid prospect. Our first phone conversation lasted two hours, a good sign. I am genuinely excited to meet her, especially considering she’s NOT moving anywhere anytime soon. Unfortunately, the excitement has been diluted by recent activity with OAOA.

 

It’s very little activity. Like emotional tremors, warning you of an impending earthquake. Admittedly, I want that Earthquake.

 

Ever since she contacted me two weekends ago, I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind. And that’s when I decided that I wasn’t over her, I didn’t want to be over her, and I wasn’t ready to give up.

 

I wasn’t sure what her intentions were for reaching out to me. I’m still not sure. But I needed to give this one last final hurrah. I wasn’t going to keep my emotions trapped inside of me anymore. I’m kind of a crazy dude, as most guys can be when they’re in love, and I was prepared to show it.

 

I called her each and every night. And each and every night, I didn’t get an answer. I didn’t care. I was going to keep trying until I got one. Even it was “Kevin, if you don’t stop calling, I’m going to get a restraining order on you.”

 

I would take it. I loved her.

 

This past Saturday evening, I sent her an email. It contained a quote I had written, and a short message to her:

 

“There is a difference between the people we meet once and forget and the people that leave a mark. They both ultimately change our lives, yes, but the ones we remember, the ones we miss…those are the ones that continue to shape our lives even after they are gone. In that sense, there is no end. There is no real goodbye. You are forever crossed.”

 

I know deep in my heart that you truly are my best friend. Which is why I can’t let go. I can only learn to do better for you.

 

As usual, I didn’t expect to get a response from her. The next day, however, I did. Before I opened it on my blackberry, I ran through the possibilities in my head. I was almost certain it was something along the lines of “Please stop calling me and sending me things like this. It’s too much.”

 

But it wasn’t. It was simply: “ J Thank you Kevin.”

 

I replied with “You’re most welcome.”

 

I then heard from her again…saying “I was thinking…we should go to AC this week.”

 

I said, “Pick a day. I’m with you.”

 

It’s only been a day, but I haven’t heard back from her yet. She hasn’t picked a day. I called, and she still didn’t answer. I sent her an email this morning proposing Friday for our AC trip…but nothing.

 

All I can think is that where ever she is, she’s scared and she’s torn, yet at the same time she’s missing me and thinking about me.

 

At least one of us has to be sure to make this leap. And I’m sure. And I am not giving up.

 

Because I’ve never felt love like this before.

 

-Spontaneous K

It's Been A Long While...I Shouldn't Have Left You

If anyone’s still out there…

I’m sorry for my absence.

It feels like forever, even though it has been less than two months. I guess when you go from posting every day to not posting at all, two months can seem like a while.

Why return now? It’s not like I haven’t had a lot to say in the past two months. Indeed I have. Life, however, caught up with me. It was time for me to live and learn, not live and share, and my misadventures in the past two months have taught me some of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned. I return now because I have too much to say and no one to say it to. So whether anyone is actually reading this or not, I send it out to the great cyber void in hopes to empty myself and feel slightly less weighted.

Let’s start with the most obvious topic: Women. In the past two months, I went on a dating binge unlike any I’ve ever had in my life. My experiment of talking to as many people as I could in a day turned my life upside-down, in a good way. I was feeling more confident, people were responding to me better, even my friends started seeing positive changes.

When I went out on the town with my friends on weekends, I had no problem going up to girls and talking to them. My friends couldn’t believe how easy I made it look. They said I had a super-power. They dubbed me Weapon X. In a specific instance, I alone managed to bring a group of girls, and one guy, over to my friends’ table and play drinking games with us for several hours, and then come back to my friend’s to continue hanging out after the bar closed.

This practice in the real world exacerbated my results in the cyber world. My online dating statistics skyrocketed. In one week, I had three first dates, and I managed to make out with each of them ON that first date. One of them in broad daylight.

Older women had often told me that one day I’d be beating women away with a stick. It kind of felt like that prophecy was being fulfilled.

Despite my bi-weekly panic attacks, despite being kind of broke, despite moving back in with my parents, something was changing. I was attracting women. Yet…something had also not changed. I wasn’t attracting any that I felt any real spark with.

I did meet one that I liked enough. She also liked me enough. She’s moving to Seattle in September for grad school for the next five years, so both of us knew that we couldn’t get attached and that whatever we had would be short term. And so…I got laid. For the first time in two years.

It was not the transcendental, ethereal experience I was hoping it was going to be. It was just…sex. There was no love, no passion. It was kind of boring. For the first time in my life, I have a non-exclusive fuck buddy, at least until September. She basically told me she was using me for sex. And I was pretty okay with that.

But all I could think was “That? That’s what I was yearning for two years, making my number one priority?”

It didn’t make me any happier. It boosted my ego a little, sure, but it made me realize that no one is going to make me happy. Sex is certainly not going to make me happy. And sex is not some life-changing instance. It’s a gross, instinctual desire, at its core level.

Making love, however…that’s what I knew I still wanted. But that wouldn’t truly make me happy either.

Through therapy, I dug deep into my soul and unearthed an epic amount of anger that I’ve been holding in for many, many years. I displaced this anger…on my siblings. My older sister, brother, and I got in a gigantic fight, one a size that my family hadn’t seen since we were kids. I almost thought that this was going to create a rift in my family and I was going to be that outcast…all because I wasn’t able to express my anger in a more appropriate manner.

Luckily, I salvaged it. My family really was there no matter what. Through this experience I learned that I had a disgusting desire for control over other people and circumstances, and if I don’t have that control, I grow angry and frustrated. I learned that in order to grow and have fulfilling relationships, I had to relinquish that control. It was the kind of control that ruined whatever I had with OAOA.

Right now, I’m living at home with my parents and saving a lot of money. I’m actually quite happy living with them for the time being. My screenwriting has come a long way, my personal growth has come a long way, and I’ve strengthened almost every important relationship in my life. My friends haven’t looked at me this way in a long time. I’m never alone on weekends any more. My phone often rings, and even if it doesn’t, I’m happy alone and have found activities to keep me busy. I have goals and a planned future. In as long as I can remember, I feel happy, settled, and fulfilled. I have everything I’m ever going to need.

And then I get a text message Saturday evening: “I miss you…”

OAOA. I held out. I held strong. I said goodbye to her and did what I needed to. But I didn’t forget. I thought about her every day. And when I saw her number on my blackberry, my heart went wild.

I missed her too.

A girl I was talking to from okCupid friended me on facebook. She looked through my photographs. She asked “Is Ali Williams your ex?”

I said “No. Just someone it didn’t work with.”

She said, “I can tell.”

“How can you tell that?” I asked.

“The vibe in the photo. The way you and her hold each other and smile. She really liked you.”

…

The girl continued: “We meet very few soul mates during our time in this world. She was one of them for you. And for whatever reason, she couldn’t commit. But you two matched.”

There is a difference between the people that you meet once and forget and the people that leave a mark. They both ultimately change your life, yes, but the ones you remember, the ones you miss…those are the relationships which continue to shape your life even after they have ended. In that sense, there is no real end. There is no real goodbye. You are forever crossed.

This story’s not over.

-Spontaneous K

Awareness is Awesome

In my last post, Putting the "Spontaneous" in Spontaneous K , I talked a little bit about
getting
something out of another person without being dishonest or "having an agenda." I told you,
yes,
there is a way, but that they have to want to give it to you .


This morning, I was on the receiving end of my own exercise, and being aware of my thought
process and the situation made it THAT much more interesting.


I was standing in line at McDonald's, and when it was my turn to order, I politely asked for a
Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle with a Hashbrown (don't judge me, they're delectable).
What happened next was rather astounding. The cashier, equally as politely, asked me "You
don't want anything to drink with that?"


I take out my wallet, and without really thinking, I say, "Nah, I'm okay." I say this because I'm
trying to save money and I'm just going to go upstairs to my office and get water/coffee for free
anyway. She then follows up with, "Coffee? Orange Juice? Nothin?"


That's when it hit me. Orange Juice. Orange Juice sounds really good. And I am kind of thirsty.
I said to her, "Alright, you've sold me. I'll take the orange juice."


This sounds inconsequential, but it's really quite profound. The cashier literally had no reason
to upsell me. She doesn't see a profit from selling orange juice or coffee, and I'm positive she
doesn't give a shit about the sales record of the McDonald's in suburban station. I've worked in
food retail. It's a pain in the ass. And customers can tell when you're trying to sell them some
shit or if you're just looking our for them. This lady genuinely wanted to make sure I wasn't
thirsty while I was eating a bunch of salty crap, and she figured for 79 cents more, 79 cents I
could most likely spare, I wouldn't be. And here's the kicker...


...the only reason I bought the orange juice is because I wanted it. I just didn't know that I
wanted it. I had hypnotized myself or disregarded the idea of wanting something to drink, so
I overlooked it, but deep down, I actually wanted that orange juice. I just need to be reminded
or convinced that I wanted it. That's the beauty of being genuine. You're helping others realize
what it is they already wanted. And if you want the same thing, that's fantastic.


The cashier wanted me to have the orange juice...I wanted to have the orange juice. Win-win.


Two nights ago, I wanted Francesca to be spontaneous and come out with me for a drink.
Before she even knew I existed, deep down, even if she didn't realize she wanted it, she
wanted something interesting to do other than her law homework. She wanted to go out and
meet a potentially awesome guy. Since she already wanted it, the convincing wasn't so
difficult.


However. If someone does not want something, no amount of convincing is going to change
their mind. They either want it, or they don't. People almost ALWAYS know EXACTLY what
they DON'T want.


But it's interesting how often we don't even realize what we do want. :)


-Spontaneous K

Putting the "Spontaneous" in Spontaneous K

It's true, anything can happen at anytime. That's the nature of the universe. However, if you're a nine to five-er like me, your days, even your weekends, tend to be rather predictable. Most people stick with what they know, the activities and people they enjoy, and that often limits the types of experiences they are likely to encounter.

Lately I've had a string of unpredictable occurrences, courtesy of our universe, (like OAOA's sister being struck by a vehicle, or a girl's horrid case of pink-eye) that have hindered instead of helped whatever progress I've been trying to make with the opposite sex. Which is fine. At first, I protested. Now, I welcome them as learning opportunities in managing expectations.

And in response to those unavoidable, unexpected occurrences that can ruin plans, I created "The Spontaneity Project". If I wanted a relationship, I couldn't sit around and wait for the universe to hand me the right woman. I had to step waaaaay out of my comfort zone and go get her.

So far, I've seen great minor successes in The Spontaneity Project. I've uncovered a stark, and startling, truth: People are actually really easy to talk to.

That is, if you don't have an agenda. Women specifically can pick up rather instantly if a guy is trying to, well, pick them up. And people in general can tell if someone is trying to get something from them. However, if your agenda is in their favor, say, simply to make them smile or spice up their day, they're much more likely to be engaging.

I'm a pretty readable person. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm a terrible liar, and therefore, everyone can tell where I'm coming from. But by changing my goal from "making a new friend for me" or "getting a date out of this girl for me" to "I just want to give (key word) this person someone to talk to", the whole dynamic changes. Most people really like it when honest people just want to talk to them and find out about them! People like it when they are considered interesting by another human being who isn't trying to get something out of them.

With this attitude in mind, people have even started to talk to me first instead of me having to initiate. Which is further proving the point to me that when you change your actions, your whole world changes.

Now, is it possible to get something out of someone without "having an agenda" or being dishonest? Yes. They just have to want to give it to you. Which brings me back to the beginning of this post...

...last night I was not only successful in being completely spontaneous myself, but I was successful in helping another person be completely spontaneous.

I'm on okCupid, the free online dating service. After work and the gym, I came home, logged on, and decided to see if I could find someone new and interesting. And I did! Her name was Francesca, and I sent her a brief message that caught her attention and prompted her to begin chatting with me.

From the moment we started chatting, I was on my A-game. I don't know where it came from, but my witty banter had her laughing and intrigued, and about fifteen minutes into the conversation, I said to her "Hey, I've got an idea."

"What's that?" she replies.

"How about we both drop whatever it is we were going to do tonight and go get a beer or glass of wine on this gorgeous fall evening?"

Mind you she's a first year law student and has a shit-ton of studying to do for finals. She gave me the bait, "I want to, but you're going to have to persuade me."

She gave me the okay. She wanted to be spontaneous. She wanted to do something fun and exciting, and she wanted the push from me. So I gave it to her. Five more minutes of convincing and she still wasn't sure, but she was on the edge. Alas, I pulled out the big guns. I said: "Here's what I have to do. My phone number is 215-XXX-XXXX. I'm getting in the shower right now, and I'll be in Rittenhouse Square at 8pm. Hope to see you there."

I got a text from her a moment later saying "You are utterly infuriating!" I laughed, because I had won. In twenty minutes, I had a girl who had never spoken to me before and was sitting in yoga pants with her cat, knitting and studying law, to hop in the shower and come meet me for a date.

She arrived in Rittenhouse promptly at 8pm. We had an awesome date. I hadn't had a victory that flawless since OAOA.

I know now, though, how to manage expectations and not only simply enjoy the time I had with Francesca, but know that if that's all the time I get, there will be plenty more good times ahead.

If I continue to be spontaneous. :)

-Spontaneous K

My Strange Dreams

Note to self: Do not eat greasy foods prior to going to sleep. Morning heart burn is not fun.

 

This is the second time in maybe three weeks where I've had heartburn, and I've never had heartburn before in my life. Shit lasts like four hours too. New ailments always add to the already overwhelming notion that I'm "getting older." Bah. I'm in my prime, damnit! (As I throw my back out).

 

A quick update to my assignment of talking to strangers and stepping out of my comfort zone before I get into the topic of today's post.

 

Actually, after writing that sentence, I realized a shorter name for it would be helpful. Alas, I dub it: The Spontaneity Project

 

I missed a couple days in there because I wasn't feeling so fantastic. Which technically means I'm back to Day 1. And I'm okay with that, because I'm having fun with the assignment. Yesterday, once again back in the cafeteria at work, I recognized a girl who I believed either went to high school or college with me. I couldn't remember. But that didn't matter! Because I went to talk to her anyway. It turned out she went to college with me, studied in the broadcasting department, and we spent a little time trying to figure out exactly where we'd crossed paths. After that, we discussed what we've been doing since college, and I'm fairly certain I got a couple minutes of conversing in there. It didn't lead to anything...no phone numbers, no lunches, but once again, that's okay. The whole point was to just talk to people. I asked Edward later if that counted...since technically I sorta-kinda-but-not-really knew the girl before hand, even though I'd never had a conversation with her before in my life. Edward said it counts. So if he says it counts, it counts! I realize, however, that I'd still like to challenge myself to more unknown peoples. The future has much to behold.

 

Anyways, onward! Dreams. They're strange, right? You've had 'em. We've all had 'em. Some of you dream in color, some of you don't. Some of you only dream in images, some of you only dream in sounds. Some of you lucidly dream (as do I), that is, you know that you're dreaming and can control the dreamscape around you. Those are awesome. Some of you claim you don't dream at all, but that's poppycock, you just stink at remembering them.

 

Dreams have enamored and mystified people since the beginning of time. They are thought to be omens, or your subconscious letting you know what you need to take care of. They are thought to be means to contact those who have passed on from another world. What do I think dreams to be?

 

An adventure in sleeping!

 

I'll tell you why, because I can't think that shit up anymore while I'm conscious. I could when I was a child. I could think up things that, were I to think of them as an adult, you'd think I had problems. But I was allowed to think those things, because I was a child! This vivid imagination of mine accounted for my wanting to write. I wanted the worlds I saw in my head to be real. As I got older, though, real life bullshit took over my brain and my imagination has been halted. Fortunately...

 

This is not the case in dream world.

 

I'm thinking of starting a dream journal, because seriously, I'll often be in the middle of a dream and think, "This would make a great story!" Then I'll wake up and not write it down, and say to myself "God damnit, K, you forgot it!"

 

The other night I had a dream where I was on a multi-tier stage in front of a large crowd, and somehow I had gotten a hold of a microphone and started belting "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. And I sounded goooooood. I was dancing, and the crowd got into it, and then all of a sudden, I'm dancing and singing along WITH Lady Gaga...very closely. I don't even find Lady Gaga attractive (for LOTS of reasons) but all was good in the dream! Anyway, I never would've thought that situation up while awake and staring at my database here at work. Not exactly an atmosphere conducive for honing your imagination.

 

Last night I had a dream that I remembered so well that I actually did want to write a story about it. I found myself back in time. I don't know how I got there, but I knew I was back in time, that I was younger, however I still remembered everything that was going to happen in the future. I was surrounded by all the people I used to be friends with before life and drama happened, and I found myself warning everyone of who they would become and what would become of us, and what we could do to stop it. Nobody believed I was from the future and that what I was saying was true.

 

It was such a profound dream, one most likely about my wanting to change what has already happened and not being able to come to terms with it. What's great about it is that my brain told it to me in such an interesting way that I now want to develop it into something more concrete, so I can share the lesson with the world.

 

Hence why I should start a dream journal. :) What about you guys? What are your dreams like? And dream journalers out there? Hey! Maybe I'll start a DREAM BLOG! Oooh, that's fun. The cogs are turning. :)

 

-Spontaneous K

[Guest Post] The Best Thing About Being a Blogger

ATTENTION [My Own Voice Over] READERS! THIS IS A BLOG SWAP! I PRESENT TO YOU YOUR HOST TODAY: GINGERELLA! Please check out her blog at http://gingerellaj.blogspot.com/

 

Blogging's not for everyone right?

Wrong.

And I'll tell you why. Because blogging has got to be one of the most uplifting, smile-instigating, laughter-inducing, tear-jurking, real-world-escaping, and heart-wrenching acitivies I have ever had the chance to encounter and partake in. And it must have one of the most friendly and accepting communities going!
I'm not sure I could pick just one thing about blogging that I love:

 

• the excitement while waiting to fire up my Google reader
• peeking into people's lives and sharing in what they have chosen to share with me
• taking the time to offer my congratulations, sympathies and words of advice without desiring a single thing in return having favourites!
• when blogging crosses my mind quite a few times a day
• that blogging has become one the main reasons I use (and sometimes feel I need) the internet!
• finding new friends I would never have had the chance to know otherwise
• friends I've made from across the other side of the world and on my doorstep

I think people often get the wrong idea that blogging is egocentric and selfish but to me, blogging wouldn't be the same without the interaction; the reason I started blogging in the first place. It has given me so many chances to do things that, albeit not astonishing, have spiced up my life, including; 

 

• blog swapping and meeting lovely Spontaneous K! Even if it does mean you have to put up with my dribble when what you wanted, and were really expecting today, was Phildelphia's answer to JD!
• my first blogger meet-up! I'd resigned myself to probably never attending one. But later this month I get to meet up some bloggers from my local blogging community. I'm excited but also quite nervous, but it's still cool!
• sharing things with you, e.g. my photography, that I might not otherwise share with plenty of 'friends' in my life

But that's not all, folks! The icing on the cake is even after a year, my blogging journey has only just begun. There's still so much I want to do; more blog swapping, vlogs, meet-ups, giveaways, question times, to announce milestones in my life like if when I get my doctoral degree, get engaged, married, have children, become a grandma! I'm in it for the long haul, I'm not going anywhere...

...whether blogging knows it or not, or even likes it, I think we just made a pinky promise?!

 

 

Day 1: Knocking Down The Walls

Edward was right. When I don't want to do something, I put up walls. And then I wonder why nothing ever changes. But something is changing now. Because I'm choosing to notice the walls I'm putting up, and I'm choosing to tear them down.

 

I'm going to consider yesterday Day Zero. I could've gotten my requisite couple minutes of conversing time with the opposite sex in, but I wasn't quite sure where to begin. It was a beautiful evening, I cleaned myself up, and I walked out into the city...

 

I had no clue where I was going.

 

I walked around the block...and then another block...trying to find somewhere to go, somewhere to walk into where it wouldn't seem apparent that the only reason I'm out right now is to find some woman to talk to. I didn't want to go into a coffee shop or a pizza place or anything like that because then I'd have to buy something and end up with food I didn't want, much like sushi incident.

 

I felt like a shark. I realized that no matter where I went, I wasn't confident in myself enough to pretend like I was there for another reason. It would be written all over my face that I'm approaching someone specifically. This wasn't natural.

 

So I went home and said to myself, "Ok. At least you went out with the intention. Tomorrow, you begin."

 

I woke up in a shitty mood. I had trouble getting out of bed, and I was late to work. Thoughts bombarded me...thoughts about Kate, thoughts about OAOA, thoughts about Firefly, thoughts about what the hell I have to go through in order to feel better, thoughts of not wanting to. Boom, those were my walls. I could see them, but they were making me feel a certain way that was difficult to pull myself out of. I knew I had to take action, but I was afraid. I was always skeptical when I was told that people stay miserable because it's comfortable. Why would anyone do that? Feeling miserable blows! Well, I'm finding out that it's because feeling miserable is actually what we're used to, and feeling the terror of going outside your comfort zone is worse than the misery. So we stick with the misery.

 

I knew, though, that if I pushed through...there wasn't anything to be afraid of. The only thing I was afraid of was myself. Not the girls, not the rejection or possible humiliation, but my own judgment, my own feelings of worthlessness and failure that I bestow upon myself in those situations. It's up to me to realize that I make myself feel the way I do, not them.

 

Having been late to work, I didn't have time to stop at Dunkin Donuts to get my waffle sandwich like I usually do. Instead, I went up to the cafeteria about an hour into work to get some breakfast. This seemed like a perfect opportunity for me to interact. I'm there getting breakfast. No harm done. Just talk to someone!

 

As I was paying for my food, I noticed the attractive woman behind me had a bagel. I like bagels. First thought that jumped into my head: "Ask her if the bagels are any good."

 

I didn't get a chance to ask while in line. So, I waited at the silverware/napkin stand, meandering around for a moment, for her to come over. When she did, I asked her the question. She responded with a short smile, "Yeah, they're pretty good..."

 

...and she practically RAN off.

 

Damn. That was, like, two seconds. I have a long way to go.

 

I was going the same way as her, so eventually we ended up in the elevator, just the two of us. I'm considering once more how to start up a conversation, considering this was a great opportunity, but my mind was going blank. She seemed so short with me that I didn't want to bother her.

 

The elevator DINGED. It was neither of our floors. A sweet older woman in her fifties entered the elevator, saying hi to both of us, despite not knowing who we were. I thought to myself, "Fine. I'll talk to her. She's willing to put herself out there."

 

We had maybe thirty seconds of conversation about how she just got back into town and missed the hot weather, but accidentally left the heat on in her place, and that's when I noticed something interesting. The older woman was talking to both of us, me and the woman my age...but the woman my age who had snubbed me earlier was equally as uninterested in talking to the older woman as she was with me. When the elevator doors opened, the younger woman went back to her rush and darted off the elevator.

 

So what's so interesting about that? I took it personally at first, but I didn't have to. Because something else was going on in this woman's life, and she wasn't interested in talking to anyone.

 

What a great lesson on my first day. Not to take things personally, because I never know what's going through the other person's mind. She could have been in trouble at work, late, ill, whatever. Anything. It had nothing to do with my bagel question.

 

After wishing the older women a nice weekend, I was feeling pretty darn good. I didn't know if that counted or not, since she's not in my age range, but I told myself I wouldn't normally talk to her, so sure, it counts! The point is to step out of my comfort zone. What was even more amazing was that even though I had gotten about a couple minutes of conversing in, I didn't want to stop. I felt energized. I wanted to keep talking to people!

 

So I did!

 

When I got back down to my floor, I went straight to the kitchen to heat up my breakfast and make some coffee. I talked to three different guys in there, one I'd spoken to briefly in the past, and two I'd never spoken to in my life. All were very friendly. And we talked about nothing in particular. I asked the one if he had ever gotten breakfast upstairs and he got really passionate about how good their oatmeal is. I talked to the other about how happy I am that it's Friday. And all I said to the third, was "I'm excited about this," as I walked away with my hot food and coffee. He genuinely laughed and returned with "Great way to start the day."

 

While I'm going to keep my focus on talking to women in my age group, because that's my ultimate challenge, I'm going to also talk to people in general. I felt a rush after it was all done, because I was taking action and making change. I could do it.

 

And all those negative emotions I woke up with simply dissolved.

 

I'd say this is an excellent first day. And tonight I'm headed to a beef and beer charity event where I will know NO ONE. A great learning opportunity.

 

-Spontaneous K