My Naming Convention/My Evening in Fishtown

I don't like it anymore.

Not that I don't love Scrubs, nor do I dislike the naming convention of their episodes for their episodes, but as of late I've found myself wanting to title my blog posts with a little less constraint. So this will be my last post with the "My ..." post title.

Is that alright? I hate to change the theme of a blog in the middle, but things evolve, right? I didn't really have any idea what this blog was truly going to become (still don't) when I started it, so I figure, why not let it grow into itself? It will find it's own purpose. I will find my own purpose.

The name of the blog itself, though, stays. I dig it.

Anyways, onto more important matters. OAOA. Dun dun dun. Hell, we argued about a week ago regarding space while she was in Atlanta, and I hadn't heard from her since. She didn't even respond to my "Fuck you recession" facebook status explaining to the world that I actually now have a great job, which everyone responded to. I deleted her number two days ago so I wouldn't be tempted to call.

I'm on eharmony. There. I admitted it. It's not the first online dating site I've tried either. I've tried online dating for many years on and off. Eharmony, I think, has the best method of matching people, but at the same time, I bought a year subscription, it's been nine months, and I've still had no luck. I've gone on countless dates, but nothing has truly surfaced. To be fair, I stopped checking it for about four months while OAOA and I were still somewhat questionable. A few days ago, I was matched with a girl named Pam. Like from The Office. A show which she loves. Yay, we both love funny shows! I saw her picture and her profile was only half-filled out, so there was a chance she wasn't even a full member, which meant if I emailed her, I'd get no response. She also only had two pictures, which I was "meh" about at first, but I decided "What the hell?" and sent her a message.

Much to my surprise, she updated her profile to completion, added more pictures which make her seem lovely, and we've been emailing back and forth. She seems really great. Trying not to get my hopes up, but she does.

Then...yesterday...as I'm waiting as patiently as I can for my next email from Pam, I get a text from a number that's not in my phone asking me "What r u up to tonight?" At first I thought maybe it was Pam, whom I'd given my number to. Then I realized it was OAOA.

Christ.

I ended up going to a show with her in Fishtown. Just the two of us. Granted, I had fun, and it was really nice to see her, it's like a drug high every time. I get this rush when going to see her, and it fades over throughout the night. I can never get over how beautiful she is and how I'm just not allowed to hold her or kiss her, and as we stood next to each other on the balcony, watching over a man play beautiful music on his guitar, I tried to savor the moment as much as I could thinking "I don't know how much longer I have with her in my life and I should just cherish the moment, whether she's in my arms or not."

Pam emailed me while I was with OAOA at the show. I had waited all day for that email. And I hated myself. Because when I got it, I didn't care. God damn you, OAOA.

-K