"I'm sorry for getting angry at you and writing to you what I did on Saturday. You're there for me as much as you can be, and I didn't respect that. I still have expectations of us that I can't shake. I'm still angry and sad that things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to for us. I'm still upset that you're not there for me the way I want you to be, but that's not your fault.
I never wanted to admit that you and I were just two people that don't mesh...because I thought we did so well in the beginning that I couldn't understand why we can't now. I care about you so much that in my mind that meant it had to work somehow. But I'm learning that just because you care about someone doesn't necessarily mean you're allowed to have them in your life.
We've both fucked up. I never meant to hurt you and I'm sure that you never meant to hurt me. Through this whole thing, I'm sure we just wanted the best for each other and we simply aren't mature enough yet to be able to handle one another.
I love you. I mean that. Which is why I should try my very best to let you go and be free of my expectations and my wanting to care for you.
Once again, I'm sorry for everything, Ali. I know you're sorry too. Not everything gets a happy ending. I hope we can both find the strength to let the other go in whatever way we need to.
Yours,
Kevin"
I never wanted to admit that you and I were just two people that don't mesh...because I thought we did so well in the beginning that I couldn't understand why we can't now. I care about you so much that in my mind that meant it had to work somehow. But I'm learning that just because you care about someone doesn't necessarily mean you're allowed to have them in your life.
We've both fucked up. I never meant to hurt you and I'm sure that you never meant to hurt me. Through this whole thing, I'm sure we just wanted the best for each other and we simply aren't mature enough yet to be able to handle one another.
I love you. I mean that. Which is why I should try my very best to let you go and be free of my expectations and my wanting to care for you.
Once again, I'm sorry for everything, Ali. I know you're sorry too. Not everything gets a happy ending. I hope we can both find the strength to let the other go in whatever way we need to.
Yours,
Kevin"
For those who don't know...my name's Kevin. And that was my apology to OAOA. I kind of thought I was going to get some cheers from my readers for telling her off...fact of the matter is, I was wrong to do it. We were both wrong. A long time ago.
This is being an adult, right?
Goodbyes suck. Every time.
-Spontaneous K
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1 comments:
I didn't say anything to the last post where you said goodbye, because I could see that you'd change your mind sooner or later..
Here's the thing Kevin: After the last email you sent her, she should have said said something to you, instead the only reaction you got was a lousy text message saying "wanna hang out?" I don't care if you were out of line in saying what you said in your last email, but if a person truly cares for you, they would have been affected by that email. The only time a person isn't affected by an email like that is when they are not emotionally invested. You can send her 100 emails saying you are sorry, or you are angry or you love her or you hate her.. I don't think it will make too much of a difference to her.. for you to ever have a shot with her, you have to disappear. She needs to miss you, so far you haven't given her that chance - by you being always "there".. and even if you were to disappear, as in stop all contact with her, that does not mean she'll miss you, but it's a good test.. as for being friends with her, I don't think it's possible. You love her, how can you just be friends.. you'll always want more and she'll never be able to give you that "more".
I am being harsh, and I probably want say anything along these lines again, but I figure I atleast say it once.. too many time people tell us what we want to hear instead of what we should hear.. I tried to do the latter today.
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