My Role as Friend

Times have been rough. I won't go particularly into detail about what's happened to me in the past seven weeks, but they've been seven of the hardest in my life. That's not to say that good things haven't happened to me. I've got a great new job, I'm moving into a new place shortly. Good things! But with the coming of new things...some old things must go.

Friends are fickle creatures, even if we believe them not to be. One true calamity can often reveal who is your friend and who isn't. It's not always who you think it is. When tragedy strikes, that's when you'll discover who understands and who doesn't. You'll find out who is really willing to stay by your side while you get through it all. And sometimes the people you want to stick around the most...and thought most definitely would...are the people who have just about had enough.

While talking with my friend Edward regarding my friendships and my personality type, he mentioned that he could truly only handle one "Spontaneous." Laughing, he mentioned how other people have come into his life with personalities like mine, and he would say to himself, "Sorry, but I've already got a friend like that."

I didn't take offense. I was glad! He's one of my best friends. But I understood that even though I have a lot to bring to the table in terms of good qualities, I can be a little overbearing. He thought about that himself...how perhaps since he can be loud and obnoxious (in that endearing way) that when people meet him, they often decide to have nothing to do with him, because they already have that loud and obnoxious friend. Likewise, when I meet people, sometimes they've already got that overbearing friend that they have to hoist up and care for more often than not.

Being that person is something I'm working on changing. But it made me realize that we choose our friends for a reason. Every person that we pick to be in our life fills a different role, a different need that we have. It's not selfish. It's not even conscious. It's just how it is.

Tonight, after speaking with Edward, I was headed out to have drinks with a guy at work, a guy I barely knew. I was a little down, because a girl I'm interested in had turned down the invite to join us. But as I thought more about the situation, it occurred to me that perhaps she canceled for a reason. Perhaps I needed to have a one on one with this guy. I thought to myself, "Who knows where this could lead. Maybe he's got a role to fill in my life."

The possibility of that excited me. I hadn't been excited to go out and have a genuine conversation with a new guy in a while.

It ended up being great. And while it may just be a budding friendship now, it could be an amazing friendship later. It's always sad to see friends leave, especially when you feel as though you could have done something to make it right...but you never know if it's just the world opening the door for the next person to enter your life.

-Spontaneous K