My Small World

It's things like this that make me believe a little bit in Fate.

Humans are pre-programmed to make connections. It's the reason we believe in superstitions. Something very bad once happened to someone who walked under a ladder...or broke a mirror...or had a black cat cross his path. And back when magic was something to be believed in, these connections made sense.

So when coincidences like the one that happened to me this afternoon occur, it's no wonder we feel like there is something greater at work.

On this snowy Wednesday (oh my, have we had a lot of snow this season in Philadelphia), I was told not to come into work, so I decided to take advantage of the day to get some writing done. My local Starbucks was not open, so I opted for Cosi. It seemed most places weren't open because Cosi was PACKED.

Before waiting in line to order, I decided to would snag a table with an outlet by placing my laptop bag and coat there. It was the last one, although it was two tables put together, so it had four seats. Just as I placed my stuff down, a girl asked me very politely if she could sit with me, since she also needed an outlet and the place was packed.

How could I say no?

As I'm on the search for new friends, I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to chat with this girl. She, fortunately, was very open to chatting with me. And we chatted for a long while, discovering that we both had very similar interests. It just seemed to click. There weren't any romantic sparks or anything, at least not on my end, but the conversation was extremely fulfilling. And I've been trying to teach myself, especially when meeting women, that just because this person doesn't feel like they're "the one", doesn't mean that they're not, or that they don't have something amazing to offer me. They might even know "the one!"

Her name was Tara, and it turned out Tara and I had many more connections that we expected to. She goes to Temple...that's where I graduated. Okay, not too crazy, there are tons of people that go to Temple. She's Jewish. Also not so crazy. But when we started to talk about friends, family, and living situation, that's where things got strange.

I told Tara that at the end of the month I was moving into an apartment with two Temple Seniors. She asked who they were...I said I didn't even know their last names, I just know they are Jess and Josie.

That was all the info she needed. "Oh! I love Jess and Josie!"

She knew exactly who I was talking about. Even more coincidentally, when I had found their listing for the room on Craigslist, I didn't know that I had already been to their apartment. Their former roommate was a girl I was friends with in college. I didn't even have to see the place, I knew I loved it. Tara even knew their former roommate as well.

Tara also lives half a block from where I'm living right now.

How had we not met?

Even further, as I was talking about my family and what my brother does for a living, I mentioned that he recently got a job doing promotions at a club called Dusk in Atlantic City. Tara goes, "Oh wow, my Uncle owns Dusk."

If you think about it, every single moment in both our entire lives, every decision we've ever made, led us to sit down at that table at the same time. We were connected and we didn't even know it. So maybe Fate was playing a little part. As with my new friend whom I had drinks with last night, I can't be sure what role Tara has to play in my life, or what role I have to play in hers...but it was a nice little surprise. A nice step in a new direction.

You never know where a snowstorm might lead you. :)

-Spontaneous K

My Role as Friend

Times have been rough. I won't go particularly into detail about what's happened to me in the past seven weeks, but they've been seven of the hardest in my life. That's not to say that good things haven't happened to me. I've got a great new job, I'm moving into a new place shortly. Good things! But with the coming of new things...some old things must go.

Friends are fickle creatures, even if we believe them not to be. One true calamity can often reveal who is your friend and who isn't. It's not always who you think it is. When tragedy strikes, that's when you'll discover who understands and who doesn't. You'll find out who is really willing to stay by your side while you get through it all. And sometimes the people you want to stick around the most...and thought most definitely would...are the people who have just about had enough.

While talking with my friend Edward regarding my friendships and my personality type, he mentioned that he could truly only handle one "Spontaneous." Laughing, he mentioned how other people have come into his life with personalities like mine, and he would say to himself, "Sorry, but I've already got a friend like that."

I didn't take offense. I was glad! He's one of my best friends. But I understood that even though I have a lot to bring to the table in terms of good qualities, I can be a little overbearing. He thought about that himself...how perhaps since he can be loud and obnoxious (in that endearing way) that when people meet him, they often decide to have nothing to do with him, because they already have that loud and obnoxious friend. Likewise, when I meet people, sometimes they've already got that overbearing friend that they have to hoist up and care for more often than not.

Being that person is something I'm working on changing. But it made me realize that we choose our friends for a reason. Every person that we pick to be in our life fills a different role, a different need that we have. It's not selfish. It's not even conscious. It's just how it is.

Tonight, after speaking with Edward, I was headed out to have drinks with a guy at work, a guy I barely knew. I was a little down, because a girl I'm interested in had turned down the invite to join us. But as I thought more about the situation, it occurred to me that perhaps she canceled for a reason. Perhaps I needed to have a one on one with this guy. I thought to myself, "Who knows where this could lead. Maybe he's got a role to fill in my life."

The possibility of that excited me. I hadn't been excited to go out and have a genuine conversation with a new guy in a while.

It ended up being great. And while it may just be a budding friendship now, it could be an amazing friendship later. It's always sad to see friends leave, especially when you feel as though you could have done something to make it right...but you never know if it's just the world opening the door for the next person to enter your life.

-Spontaneous K